Ending Therapy!

So we're talking about ending therapy before we've even begun huh? May sound like an odd angle?

Well here's the thing! ... The end is most likely the first thing we’ll discuss. I’ll ask “Where would you like to be”? Because that’s the direction we’ll head off in from our very first session together!

Counselling helps at different times in our lives for different life experiences…

Although you may actually dip in and out of Counselling throughout the course of your life, many therapists, myself included, agree that the actual purpose of therapy is to guide you towards your own tools and understanding, the ones necessary for you to live life more fully, on your own terms. And yes! Often that means saying goodbye when we’ve reached a suitable point or you just need time to process what we’ve covered!

And sometimes clients come back... to challenge or discover more about themselves, or because of some new awareness or changes in their life which need fresh attention. Sometimes they don't...

There’s certainly no pressure to continue therapy if you feel like you’ve reached a good place, and similarity there’s no pressure to maintain weekly or fortnightly Counselling if you feel like the odd session here or there would help. Sometimes we just need to keep a safety net underneath us as we take those bold first steps back out into the world by ourselves, trusting in our own abilities and what we’ve already learned or discovered in therapy. In my personal experience, there’s a day when both the client and myself just know that it’s time to move on. And yes, this can be a very bittersweet moment as we say goodbye, knowing full well that we won’t have any further contact after our last session together. But the air is electric with hope and excitement. An unspoken understanding between us that reaffirms our belief and satisfaction in the work we’ve done together. It might just be one of the best feelings in the world - two people sharing something so positive and life affirming that it really does put a pep in all of our steps.

Stopping therapy doesn't have to be hard...

Or complicated, or awkward, or unusual. In my experience therapy often comes to it's own natural conclusion, in it's own time... and you'll know when that is... because you'll feel it. Likewise, life happens! Situations change and perhaps you need to take a break for financial reasons, personal reasons or perhaps you just want to pause and take it all in. All of this and more can be accommodated with welcome arms. There’s no need to feel like Counselling is a commitment beyond your means. Any work you choose to do, any personal investment is worth it and the effects are compound, even if you feel like you need to take a break sometimes. And if you’re wondering if Counselling will help you, here’s a little piece I put together to answer that very question.

When Counselling reaches a natural conclusion with you feeling like you’re in the right place, that's when it's time to say goodbye.

But as with that age old adage - the door is always open, you're welcome to come back anytime and pick things up from where we left off, or start afresh entirely.

One of the most lasting personal impressions I think I’ve taken from saying goodbye is when a client recognises and appreciates the invitation to return should they feel they need to. However they quietly and confidently suggest that because of the work we’ve done together, they most likely won’t need to. The finality of that goodbye is always hard but at the same time, perhaps the most complete and satisfactory outcome anyone could hope for. It can happen on the first course of Counselling, second, third, fourth or beyond. It doesn’t matter how long it took to get there, what matters is that the positive changes we’ve created together will likely now last for a lifetime.

The key takeaway here is that we don't impose the end of therapy... you choose it, and you'll know when the time is right for you! I’m here to support any changes, pauses, breaks or re-introductions that you feel you might need along the way.

With warmth,

James