Therapy - Considering The End We Start From!

For some people the idea of starting therapy is daunting.

Sometimes because it can feel like carrying the expectation that things are going to have to change, or very likely that you would like them to! And in most of our experience in life, that means learning something brand new... aka... hard work!

Bringing success from your Counselling does mean doing the work.

But in my experience, therapy often starts from where you are right now. Behind the scenes you've already done so much amazing work on yourself... after all, it's what got you this far! Everyone has a story to tell, usually involving some trials, tribulations, near misses, lessons learned, hardship, tests and less than excellent outcomes. Life has a way of shaping us through our experiences. And we’re always learning! You know what they say, everyday’s a school day, and it kind of is. Every encounter, every exchange, every challenge, every upset, every victory and in each and every moment in-between, we’re practicing how to be, and how we become as a result of that being.

Sometimes it can look like all we’ve had are misses, and that’s demoralising and upsetting. But the key is in recognising that there might not be many more misses to have, and hitting the mark might be that much more closer as a result of all that learning, all that experiencing. Someone shared with me once that we don’t learn so much by getting it right, we learn from making mistakes. There’s so much power in knowing where to focus and what to change and sometimes that means searching for a meaning in our suffering. Invariably, one can always be found if we’re willing to keep searching for it.

So perhaps it's a case of looking at what you need to discover that you already know, or at least what you might be able to draw upon. It’s never really a case of starting from scratch. The answers lie inside, and in my experience with clients from all walks of life... they're already there! In effect, we're starting from your end point, and it's more a case of rolling things back to check for anything we might have missed along the way. Essentially this is the end we start from.

We all have coping mechanisms and resilience we’ve forgotten we had.

In any person’s life, there will be so much that has already happened, coping mechanisms we forgot we had, resilience that has never been named and a whole rucksack full of solutions just waiting to be recalled, highlighted and acknowledged. That is what pulls us through. Sure we might learn something new in the process, and therapy can be an ongoing learning process, but I like to think we’re adding, building on what’s come before, not starting again from a place of nothing.

The deeper work probably isn't as overwhelming as you might be thinking right now. Another way of looking at this is you might already be "there", it could just be a case of making some space to gently reveal it to yourself. Sometimes that caring constant companion is all that it takes to peel back the layers of doubt and disappointment to break through to the truth already trying to emerge from the darkness. The answers are in there, I believe that with all my heart.

And that's what Counsellors like me are here to help you with!

With warmth,

James