You and me? We're in this together!
Counselling isn’t a solitary endeavour, but It can be quite jarring to hear words like "you're the expert on yourself"…
Which whilst, yes, I believe wholly, it also sort of begs the question "well, what do I need a Counsellor for then?"
When deciding to come for therapy, you kinda want an expert to help you, am I right?
Well here's where a little further definition of expertise comes in. Counsellors can be experts in helping you to find your own answers from within. Gently listening and understanding, hearing the gaps in what you're describing and asking questions to guide you back... to look under those stones, to examine what you believe from a slightly different point of view. That's the expertise in full effect!
You might be seeking Counselling for a specific issue, roadblock or challenge such as Depression, Anger, Grief, Loss, lack of Self-Worth or feelings of Hopelessness or loss of Life Direction. The first question that runs through anyone’s mind is probably and simply… “can this person help me?”. In that critical moment of deciding to begin therapy and walking into the therapy room for the very first time, emotions are understandably running high and questions are coming in thick and fast. Of course, what we really want is answers to the questions like “Will this help?”, “Am I going to be OK?”, “How will I ever get to where I want to be?” or “How will I ever feel like myself again?”.
Personally, I believe that the answers come from a solid foundational therapeutic relationship between you and me...
Together we create an understanding based on trust that makes solutions effortlessly arrive, co-authored by our spending time together. This is where a little bit of trust in the process comes in. With every regular contact, that special bond between us grows. We get to know each other better, trust more in our intuitions and feel ever more comfortable in offering reflections that move the needle. The healing energy that is created from these points of contact live somewhere outside of us both, and yet we both tap into it throughout our sessions. So it becomes a sharing of sorts, where we both "throw into the pot", to brew up something unique to you. Something shaped and moulded by the intersection of the genuineness of our connection, measured against what you actually want to achieve with the backup of a little of what I understand.
Therapy is not a one size fits all “off the shelf” solution and there is no roadmap to recovery.
As an Integrative therapist, I’m trained to bring in tools and theories that might help in our work together, but I don’t rely on these solely. The most important factor is growing something unique to us, together. We work closely on figuring out exactly what feels good or right to you, and focusing on that, before moving on to something new that we discover along the way, or pivot into a way of working that just feels like the right direction for you. And this can happen at any point in our time together. I welcome an open dialogue between us where you are invited and welcome to share what you feel would help the most, reintroduce theory that we’ve already covered, but in a new light based on new understanding or reflection, or explore something entirely new. The beauty of keeping the person-centered approach at the core of my therapeutic practice is that I will always defer and return to your experience, your feelings and your worldview. A good theory or approach is only as good as the person it helps. If you’re looking for a bespoke approach to Counselling that factors in your feelings and an ongoing discussion of what’s working and what’s not so we can fine tune and perfect our experience together… well, I guess you’re in good hands here.
Ultimately, if you are the expert of yourself, together we are the experts of your solutions, and we both play a part in bringing them to light.
As your Counsellor maybe it’s something of a paradigm shift to learn that I don’t have the answers…
But I’m alongside you, with you and here for you every step of the way as we search for and uncover the answers and solutions together. You never have to go it alone.
Wondering if it’s time to explore what Counselling could offer you? Why not book a time for us to chat about Counselling and explore what therapy could look like for you, in a pressure free, friendly and confidential environment.
With warmth,
James