So… Why Counselling in Bradford & Halifax?

How does a person do what they need to do? How do we make sense of this life and our place within it? Perhaps these are questions we’ve all asked ourselves from time to time.

Centuries before today, a famous philosopher Lao-tzu said “The way to do is to be”.

So… want to know how and why I became a Counsellor in Bradford and Halifax?

I discovered how to be. Here’s how…

The prolific psychologist Carl Jung referred to “the wounded healer”, suggesting that in order to help others to heal, we need to have travelled that road ourselves. In a sense, I’ve experienced difficulties and painful times and so I am able to empathise with those kinds of experiences in others.

It can take a while to find yourself again when things start to slip… and it can happen at any point in your life.

For me, I spent a period of my life lost, confused as to why I was self sabotaging, fighting against things I thought I loved and enjoyed.

Life felt out of focus, frustrating, unfulfilling… broken… and seemingly there was no available explanation as to why I felt this way…

On the surface, everything looked fine.

But on the inside, my emotions were running wild and I was losing my sense of self as I grew older.

In Counselling terms, we call this incongruence of self - a position of trying to uphold values and beliefs that are not our own.

I thought life had certain expectations of me, and quite simply I was not fulfilling those expectations in any kind of meaningful way… the truth was, I was busy trying to fulfil my own expectations which I had completely discounted as being worthless. Spoiler alert, they were never worthless!

Despite everything, I always had time for people. I enjoy being around others, I’ve always felt a warmth towards other people and wanting the best for them.

Perhaps I came into the role of helping others in rather an upside down way. At the time of deciding to train to become a Counsellor, I hadn’t had any personal counselling at all. I didn't even know what a Counsellor really offered.

In this way, by virtue of you being here today, reading this, you are already miles ahead of where I was when I needed help. I was stubborn, awkward, suspicious and completely closed off.

One day I woke up with a burning desire to finally, once and for all, understand why I was finding life so difficult to adjust to and Counselling training offered to teach me about… well, ME. Hardened on the foolish anvil of “I don’t need help, only answers”, I never even considered personal Counselling for myself.

My awkward route to self healing lied in learning, and in order to learn, I had to undo years and layers of false beliefs and values which had me trapped in a cycle of unhealthy behaviour.

This wasn’t an easy route - it took 4 years of studying, hard work and dedication to earn my distinction in Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy. There were ups and downs, highs and lows, and each challenge helped shape who I am today. Each painful barrier that came crashing down, lowered my defences (which weren’t serving me), leaving me vulnerable, but open to change.

Over those four years I came to see things in a different way, something I now understand that I could have received from a good, qualified Counsellor in personal Counselling. But I was too stubborn then to believe it.

The lone wolf approach (I don’t recommend it).

But in doing so, my belief in anything has never been stronger. I had to know if it was real and I had to prove it to myself, and when I did…

Everything. Made. Sense.

Why? I believe because I was finally having the right conversations with the right kinds of people - Counsellors. People who could listen without judgement, hear my experience and get alongside me, supporting me to find my own truth, in my own time.

(Ironically perhaps, something I could have discovered in personal Counselling all those years ago…)

Talk about doing things the hard way!

However the skills and knowledge I acquired to be able to help others, to listen and truly try to understand their world views felt so organically natural to me. Enhancing and developing what was already there, if you like.

Holding space became a passion and my veracity for learning powered me through to achieving a high Distinction in Integrative Counselling and Psychotherapy from Lancaster University.

Today, I’m an Accredited Qualified Counsellor working with adults in Bradford and Halifax who are struggling with their feelings and experiences.

I offer a calm, safe space for you to explore your own challenges and victories, gaining self understanding and further developing self compassion.

Many of my clients describe me as friendly and warm with a sharp intuition for understanding and seeing what life means to them.

We work together to find the answers you seek, at your pace, and in a manner that works for you.

I believe that the answers come from a solid foundational working relationship between you and me...

Together we create an understanding and forge a relationship that makes solutions effortlessly arrive, co-authored by our spending time together. The healing energy lives somewhere outside of us both, and yet we both tap into it throughout our sessions. So it becomes a sharing of sorts, where we both "throw into the pot", to brew up something unique to you, shaped and moulded by the intersection of the genuineness of our connection, measured against what you actually want to achieve with the backup of a little of what I understand.

If you are the expert of yourself, together we are the experts of your solutions, and we both play a part in bringing them to light.

And if you’re wondering if Counselling is right for you? Remember the immortal words of Lao-tzu “the way to do is to be”. Counselling is without doubt a reliable path to “being”.

With warmth,