The Myth Of Having To Be Unwell...

We'd all be forgiven for thinking that therapy is only for when you're feeling down, or unwell...

And that's a valid point of view... but it's also not the only one.

Counselling helps to celebrate your victories and to recognise your progress.

Something we often forget to acknowledge when we’re feeling heavy emotions like anger, depression, loneliness, grief, confusion or loss of life’s direction, is just how far we’ve come. It’s so natural to want to reach out to someone for help when we’re feeling at our lowest point. Attending regular Counselling is something that extends beyond simply trying to fix something. Part of that healing process is being seen, having your accomplishments acknowledged, especially in a world that often minimises and reduces those accomplishments. In therapy, we work through the tough times and we celebrate in the victories along the way. It might come as something of a surprise for me to say that some sessions with my clients are entirely focused on the wins. A client may begin to share all the good changes and positive experiences that have happened since our last meeting, and this is fantastic to bear witness to. But it is also an essential ingredient in successful therapy. Once you reach a turning point, you owe it to yourself to allow for a little celebration, a recognition that you worked hard and achieved your goals. Not everyone does.

Counselling works well for the smaller challenges too.

Time and time again I've used personal therapy to challenge a sticking point in my life experience where I've felt discomfort or frustration, and always come out of therapy in just a handful of sessions with a means to enjoy my life even more. Life is an ever changing experience and who can say that they haven’t had something spring up out of nowhere and take them completely by surprise. Life throws curve balls at you and sometimes it’s a little too much to process through by yourself. This might be a problem at work, a change in family dynamics, a worrying lack of communication with your partner, a loss of sense of self as a parent, temporary money issues, climate change or developments on the political landscape. This isn’t something you’ve had to live with your whole life, this is something flaring up in the moment, causing you discomfort on an otherwise fairly settled sea. Counselling helps to navigate these uprisings and give you back the clarity you need to work through it and rediscover the comfort in your life.

My worldview as a person and a Counsellor.

Enjoying my life stands as one of the most important principles of being for me! I find pleasure in most things and can find myself becoming incredibly passionate about anything I’m involved in. So the worst possible situation I can find myself in on a day to day level, is not being able to access those feelings and experience those emotions because something “bad” is blocking them. Just like everyone else, this could be a sense of overwhelm as things go wrong practically, take for example a broken dishwasher followed by a broken car followed by the death of a pet. Nothing groundbreaking, but taken together, a little too much going on at once. Inescapable events, seemingly unlinked, but all happening at the same time. A bit like it was destined to go wrong all at once. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth, but I’m sure we’ve all felt that way before. Personal Counselling has helped me to navigate these times and my strong emotions, regaining perspective and space, enough to begin to see past the overwhelm and distress of the moment and back to the wider picture.

One of the most important things to remember is that in therapy, we are looking at YOUR distress, what YOU find uncomfortable, and without judgement or analysis. What matters most is that you are hurting and we seek to ease that pain and get you back to where you want to be. What troubles one person might be a leaf on the wind to someone else. And then vice versa, we’re all different, and as your Counsellor, I openly accept, appreciate and respect your unique values and beliefs as if they were my own.

The critical point to remember is that therapy is yours, you can own that experience and you can define what it means to you. There's no need to let others shape that perception for you. If you do hold a strong opinion that feels awkward, perhaps ask yourself where that opinion has come from... is it truly yours? You might have heard or read about people saying that their struggles are too simple or basic for Counselling, and then continue to suffer in silence. Too simple? Too basic? Says who? You deserve to live a life of happiness and contentment as much as humanly possible and your definition is as valid as anyone else’s.

Is Therapy always long term or can I have short term Counselling?

Is therapy long term or short term? It's up to you! What are your goals? What is your purpose for engaging with it? Maybe you only need one session to solve a perplexing problem in your life and that's all you need for now... that's cool in my book! Want to work in small batches of sessions with a break in-between? That’s also cool in my book. We can work together to create a plan that supports you in the best possible way to achieve your goals, whatever they may be.

It's OK to drop in and out as you require - it might look like there are hard and fast rules with starting or stopping therapy, and some therapists may enforce them, and that's OK. I personally strive to offer you what you think you need, not what I think you need!

With warmth,

James